No news good news?

[33]

Not from me...

Was little sick, now getting much better. Was off the computer for over a month.

Will be around once in a while now, I guess.

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[BotB]

Welcome back dude

I was quite away a bit meself too, apologies ..
But y'know.. life knocking at the door..

Let's rooooll once more

[Fah]

well not much happening here either really but still, same ol' same ol'
It's good to see you back here 33, can't wait to hear some new stuff from you again. Btw botb, get your ass on msn again

[33]

botb,

I'm still a little on hold for music making. I haven't recovered 100% but am quite good now compared to not so long ago. I'm focusing my energy on work, taking care of my things, food, house cleaning, haning out with family. This is a temporary thing. I should soon get tired of this and leave all behind for some intense full day music making sessions like I used to do.

I studied a little thoe about previous tracks I did while being on "sick leave" and I do think about a change. Some unknown parts in my brain have woken up from a very long coma and I think that is a good thing. I just started to understand the bigger picture of a lot of guys from diff. net labels that I used to just not really get to understand and appreciate. I think making my own sounds for future releases will have a different direction. I have plans on sampling movie soundtracks from broken file or incompatible players which creates totally awesome distorted sounds ............ So that field should open a plethora of new perc and ambient sounds.

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[33]

OK, beware...

October 18th: Woke up in morning with a huge chill zone on my left side around waist.
October 20th: Went to the hospital in panic attack mode. Got radiology tests, no results.
October 22nd: Got diagnostics from a dermatologist about a fibrus infection of the skin in the same zone as described on oct. 18th. Got a date for the removal of that evil infection.
October 27th: Went to pee, and my piss was all white!!!
October 28th: Another panic attack around midnight, impossible to even imagine sleeping, called ambulance. They took me to the hospital in the emergency. Waisted 5 hours there, no one came so I left from there by taxi.
November 4th: Got a biopsy done and they removed the skin infection from my back. I tought I was cured...
November 6th: Got the bad feeling that the rooth was still very well in place, probably deeper than what he had removed right in a back muscle. So I had daily panics and weird out symptoms about it like back muscles shredding up, getting dislocated.
November 8th: Went to non rendez-vous doctor, got diagnostic of a very painful stomach ache problem which caused me very severe aching and inflation of stomach. Got some medicine for that to be taken for next 10 days (antibiotics).
November 10th: Went to the non rendez-vous doctor again to get my bandages removed because the place they removed part of my skin was really aching. They saw a small infection but nothing serious, they put new bandages and healed it. They also sent a urine test to get analyzed.
November 12th: Called the doctor that removed the thing in my back to tell him I was worried that he might have not removed it totally, but he said the biopsy results will come soon.
November 17th: Completed my medication and my digestion and stomach aching is gone! Medication worked perfectly!
November 18th: Went to see the doctor that removed the evil infection and he told me everything is healing fine.
November 20th: Went to see nurse in open clinic to get bandages removed and to clean my wound. Everything was healing fine.
November 22nd: I removed bandages myself and stopped any form of treatment about the previous infection.
... Following days, I wasn't convinced the healing was appropriate and tought that the root was still in place and spreading something in my back. I had weird aching of the muscles everywhere in my back for days.... The healing wasn't evolving, but was like an everlasting cycle. Couldn't sleep more than just an hour or two per night. I was ultra weak every day, but sometimes I got some rise of energy.
December 2nd: Called the clinic to get my urine test result. They told me it was fine.
December 12th: Went to work, felt a weird pain in my chest while driving to work. When I arrived to work, I told the guyu that I was replacing that I tought I might not be able to work... I fell on the ground, they called ambulance (yes, again)... Took me to Notre-Dame hospital and their diagnostic was severe fatigue. They prescribed me 7 1mg Ativan pills, to be taken before I go to bed.
December 13th: After a small 4 hour sleep, woke up as tired and called my mother and cried like a baby to her, uncontrolably... She told me to go to her house. She called my sister etc etc... Finally I went to the open clinic again and saw a doctor there, after 3 hours wait, and he said I had cronic sleep disorder and he said to go to the hospital and get advisory from a Mental Therapist that might intern me there for a short period.
December 14th: Went to the Urgency dept of hospital, waited there for 13 hours until I got a Psychatrist to see me. We got a 1 hour meeting and then her, me and my mother to get some more feedback. And then I got interned. Got room 38-2 in the mental dept. and from there I was sleeping, got TV in some lounge room also and the food was very good. I sayed there for 4 days.
December 15th: I felt as if my body was dissolving the infectious root of the thing in my back that was procupying me for so long.
December 17th: Got a blood test result saying that everything is fine from a doctor.
December 18th: In the morning, got out of there and back to home with a list of things to do for the weekend to improve my life a bit.

Now I feel way less tired, and my energy level has risen. I know I got psychiatric treatment and so forth. I know I went in some form of depression. I know I may have not fully recovered.

Many things in here I haven't stated like different muscle pain, and some important digestive and even testicular pain, skin irritation of many sort, and the feeling of needles punctuating your body at different stages of this evil ride...

I hope people reading this will better understand why I haven't made music much lately. It's not that I do not want to, really. Many moments I have been depressed because of all the symptoms I had etc etc. I know some people might say they had worse in a 2 month period, or people that have died and so forth. At some moments, I wished I died because of so much pain and anxiety.

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